When this new year began, we went to our favorite beach on Kodiak Island. It was a rare calm day after a series of massive storms and deluges (3 inches of rain in a single day last week, followed by more and more, and an unrelenting wind . . . )
This gorgeous beach, an hour out of town, always has surf, always has something to say even when the wind is silent. And this day it did. Small waves of argument, enough to ride two surfing women.
And it offered as well a beach full of wreckage. I had not seen this beach both so beautified and so littered before.
Sea sponges, pulled from their habitat in astonishing numbers . ...
An alphabet of colors and shapes and sizes of once living things . . .
Beautiful, haunting, even devastating. Much of it no longer living, some still dying, marooned on the sand. In all ways, though, living, dying or dead, the colors still steal the sun's light . ..
And not all is beauty . ..
Among it all, the sea cast up questions. Creatures I do not know, that I have not seen often, and never this many before . ..
(Alert readers have tentatively identified these as species of tunicates.)
The year is new and young. I am full of hope and plans and there is so much to celebrate. But, this week I have also felt like that beach.
The past so often intrudes upon us. In a moment, something flashes and we're back. We're back among the slights and meanness and persecutions we've known in one form or another. Some for many years. Some live in the midst of sexism and prejudice. Some have come through poverty and racism. Some of you have lived in houses of addiction, in other places where the mentally ill controlled your life.
There it is. The injustices and inequities we all have borne litter our beach. The year is new, but storms have ripped the past from their root and washed it all ashore again.
How do we rejoice in a new year when the past is still with us? What do we do with all that detritus? If we are the surviving kind, we find a way to gather up all that junk and we just keep moving. But the weight encumbers. We feel as though we are dragging the wreckage of a whole beach behind us.
It takes a whole book to say all I want to say on this (and some of you have read it here already )
And there's nothing I can tell you that will make it all disappear. But I know how to make the load lighter.
You know that everyone's beach has at least one wreck on it, yes? We don't get to live through a life, let alone a year without some waves, some uprooting, some wash-ups, a cluttered line marking the high tides. Yes you are utterly special and unique and your pain is unique but we all carry the pains of our shared humanness and selfishness.
But you know that.
Just two more things---and we already do them when we walk a beach: Look at what you find and name it. This is our beach walking habit already. But it's not always a life habit. I know some who will not look at the flotsam in their life, who will deny it, erase it, pretend their beach is clean.
Who wants to walk an empty beach?
No one's beach is clean. You'll waste what's come ashore without looking, holding, listening, naming . ..
(fin whale skeleton)
(Giant acorn barnacle)
One more. Do not pity this scavenging woman. I am her. All of us who live out on distant beaches collecting all we find are her. (The foundation of our house at Harvester Island is built from logs that drifted to shore.) She is collecting what has drifted to shore to strengthen and beautify her own door. She will build and rebuild with what has come to her beach. As we do. As we all must do.
Listen. What looks like wreckage in your life still has value. Don't discard it. Use it. Find the good in it. Build your house and life stronger with it. That's why it's been delivered to you.
"We wear memories in our faces, in the whorls and folds of our brains; we bear scars and burns on our bodies. Even when we desire to give up the memories that have formed us and even haunt us – we cannot. Nor should we. Patricia Hampl urges us to remember because, “we do not … simply have experience; we are entrusted with it. We must do something – make something – with them . . ." (Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers)
How do we do this? Start toward forgiveness.
If you don't know how (and who does?), consider the book, which walks us through forgiveness of anyone who has hurt us.
(I cannot tell you how many have written to share the freedom and joy they've found through forgiveness . . ..)
I'm giving 5 of these away in the next few days. (I'd like to give you ALL a book---but until my ship comes in--and doesn't wreck on the beach!---I can only do 5!)
If you'll share this post on Facebook and anywhere else you can, let me know, and I'll enter your name in the drawing.
I'm hoping and praying MANY can start the new year---bringing beauty out of wreckage.
WaynettePosted. I always love the encouragement of your messages.
ReplyDeleteAlready have the book, but have to chime in and say how encouraging this post has been for these days of bleak midwinter. Trusting God for beauty from the wreckage.
ReplyDeleteMichele, Bleak midwinter indeed! Same here. We see the sun about one day a week, at the very most. But I love that what washes up on our beach CAN be used, fashioned anew. God does this work---but we must do it as well. I hope this helps! Joining you in hopes for sun and spring!
DeleteThis was amazing, Leslie! Your words about driftwood used at Harvester Island, and using it as strength and beauty brought a smile to my face. Very encouraging!
ReplyDeleteYour book is wonderful and I also love that painting of the woman with the load on her back.
Diane, isn't that just a stunning painting? In the old days, Duncan's family built some of the buildings on Bear Island almost entirely out of what washed up on the beaches. We still collect the logs---for our foundations and other uses--but now mostly for firewood and smoking salmon. We still rescue and re-use the buoys and corks that wash ashore . … May all your flotsam be redeemed!!
DeleteBeautiful - I can so relate to this image of stuff being washed ashore. Would love to have your book. Am going to share on Twitter/FB shortly.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jeannie! I'll be sure and enter your name! (I hope you win!)
DeleteJeannie! You have won a book! WHere do I send it? Email me at leslieleylandfields@gmail.com
Delete"Bringing beauty out of wreckage"...thank you for your writing and for the opportunity to have your new book. I just recommended Surviving the Island of Grace to a young friend who needs encouragement on her journey. Blessings on your new year, Leslie!
ReplyDeleteThank you Julie! I know there are surprises and blessings in store for all of us this new year. (And thank you for passing along "Surviving." That book is still very near to my heart.)
DeleteThank you for addressing ugly wreckage that inevitably washes up on all our beaches! We all want the "new beginnings" feeling, especially with each new year, but how easily we trip over past wreckage. Your book Forgiving our Fathers and Mothers, offers wisdom on how to claim the past and is rich in forgiveness. I've posted your blog on FB and Pintrest. Even if I don't win a book, I'll still share my copies with friends! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteGretchen--Yes, we all want to move forward, but we can't without addressing and learning from the past. And an empty beach is SO boring!! Thanks so much for sharing these words! Your name goes in the hat--along with hopes that you win!!
Delete"The wreckage in our lives"......we all have it don't we? It's so good to know that God is bigger than all our wreckage. It doesn't wreck us, but it builds us up. What a big God we have! Wonderful blog Leslie. I have shared it on FB, so please put me in the hat!
ReplyDeleteDear "Windy"! I'll put your name in! (Wish I could send to ALL!!) thanks for reading. Yes, He is bigger and more forgiving than all that lands on our beaches!! Thanks for reading!
DeleteRead more at http://www.leslieleylandfields.com/2015/01/kodiaks-wrecked-beach-how-to-carry.html#WGMCQKeKOp2koXeO.99
Dear "Windy"! I'll put your name in! (Wish I could send to ALL!!) thanks for reading. Yes, He is bigger and more forgiving than all that lands on our beaches!! Thanks for reading!
ReplyDeleteIn our lives, and the lives of those we love, some of that garbage just keeps reappearing. And at the worst times, it seems. I think I need to read your book. :) (Shared on facebook.)
ReplyDeleteRena--it does indeed. Thanks for sharing. Your name goes in!! Blessings as you live with and sort through all that stuff. God knows about it. Hoping a book comes your way!!
DeleteRena! You have won a book! WHere do I send it? Email me at leslieleylandfields@gmail.com
DeleteBeautiful word pictures and truth! God wastes nothing. Even the ugliest, most painful wrecks we've made or another has made that affects us can be used for our good and the good of many! What a hope we have in Jesus! Am sharing this on FB even though I have and have read ALL your books. I guess you could say I'm a groupie--or a bookie--or a fan. I just love you--your heart!
ReplyDeleteHeather---YOU bless ME!! It is nothing but astonishing how God reuses all that waste and detritus. But--it will quickly turn back to junk if we let it. IT's a daily walk on the beach, submitting!! Thanks for all the ways you encourage!
DeleteI love your ability to use everyday things to bring me a message. Posted your giveaway and site on Pinterest. Would love to win a book. Thank your for the gift you share with the world. You encourage and challenge me!
ReplyDeleteZosha---thanks for sharing! I hope you win!
DeleteZosha! You have won a book! WHere do I send it? email me at leslieleylandfields@gmail.com
DeleteI shared to pinterest and facebook. I am also going to order the book, so if I win it, I'll give it away. I've been procrastinating on ordering the book because of fear as to what I will uncover and have to look at and "name." However, I've dedicated 2015 to the year of my personal growth and self-care. I'm reading a book on the emotionally destructive marriage/relationship. It's hard and painful work but also rewarding. I know your book will be the same. I'm done carrying the detritus and wreckage around with me day after day, year after year. I'm ready to discard it, move on and become the woman of God that He already sees and knows me to be.
ReplyDeleteBarbara---I'm impressed with your resolve and I believe you will accomplish these things---or rather, that Christ will accomplish them in you. So sorry for what you've been through----but nothing is beyond healing and redemption. Go Barbara! 2015 will be a very good year!!
DeleteHi Leslie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your heart. I so enjoy your pictures and stories from Alaska. I live in Central Florida and love to daydream of something different. I have shared your information on Pinterest. Sorry but that is the only social media I belong to.
Yvette :)
Yvette! I have several dear friends in Florida, and I know it's a world away from Alaska! I'm glad you find respite in these photos and words. Thanks so much! ANd thanks for sharing this post!!
DeleteI love how you get inspiration from things around you then you include the photos so we can see you you can reclaim the mess on your beach, claim it up & turn it into something beautiful. Everyone I know could benefit from this so I posted on Facebook, Twitter, Pintrest, and Google+.
ReplyDelete