On Sunday, in the middle of a blue-sky day in Kodiak the mountains almost disappeared.
It was Ash. Volcanic ash.
The sun still worked to light the sky, but it was weary in all that ash.
Planes could not fly for fear of damaging the engines. No one in Alaska can forget the Alaska jet in 1989 that plunged 10,000 feet after sucking up particulates. By God's grace alone, the engines were restarted just before All was Lost, and all survived. The plane sustained 80 million in damage.
And here is why this is about marriage. And other family eruptions that fill our own skies with ash---This ash is not fresh. This ash is 100 years old.
There are more than 130 volcanoes in Alaska, but less than 20 are active. (Which is plenty. They cause more-than-enough havoc!) This ash came from Novarupta, a volcano that erupted in 1912. It was a massive eruption, the largest by volume in the 20th century, 10 times more powerful than Mt. St. Helens, spewing ash 100,000 feet into the air, drifting as far away as North Africa. The ash swallowed Kodiak Island, burying it in deep drifts, snuffing out the sun for three entire days. And afterwards . . .
The ash covered the floor of Katmai Valley to a record depth of 700 feet. Much of it is still there.
(Rivers through canyons of pure ash.)
Whenever it blows hard NW, as it was still doing the next day (gusting to 50 mph out there), we are breathing tiny shards of silica, tiny pieces of glass. And the beauty around us is swallowed up.
This feels personal to me. The volcano is in our neighborhood, just 60 miles from our fish camp island. And I cannot help but think of marriage, of our children, of our parents. We've all survived "eruptions" of volcanic proportions. We've seen the lava burning a path to our feet. We've seen the ash fall bury our house, the neighborhood. . . Then time passes, and we think we're okay. The burns are healed, the glass in our lungs dissolves. We think we've swept the rest away, all that ash around our feet . .. buried it in the garden, in our journal, in the attic with our outdated coats.
Then a sharp wind from just the right direction rises, and the ash we thought gone whips into the air, and we're choking again. . . We look for the volcano, but it's not there. Nothing has happened but a little wind. Then we remember---oh yes, that ash. Again?
How do we stop this? How do we end the bitter choking on distant memories? We feel SO powerless against these forces: earthquake, volcano, whirling winds.
But we're not. We're really not. Listen to what's been given to you.
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened
so you may know the hope to which he has called you,
the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,
and his incomparably great power for us who believe."
What IS this incomparably great POWER for us who believe?
"That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead . . . "
In a few weeks, my husband and I will celebrate 37 years together. One thing I know: the power God used to raise Christ from the dead---is given to us. Now. And it's real. I know how weak we feel. I know how powerless I have felt so many times in my life. But I am not. You are not.
The power we're given is mightier than any volcano. It can blow the ash away for good. It can tamp the acid dust with the rain of compassion and forgiveness. It's the kind of power that births a baby, that keeps living "I do" even when you feel like "you don't," that keeps giving when others keep taking, that stays "until death do you part" . . . I mean the kind of power that reaches a hand across a table, across the bed, across a burnt-up field to say, "I love you, still. And always"
We are not always good at this, but we cannot forget what God has spent for us so that we can.
The mountains were back. The colors bright. The air clean.
This is the power we've been given, all of us:
"I love you still. And always."
I pray you KNOW the power of God in your life this week, in all the hard ashy places!!
This is wonderful, raw, and so encouraging.
ReplyDeleteYour interview with Dennis Rainey was on the radio yesterday! I caught it in the middle, but recognized your story from your books. So good to hear your voice, strong and brave--no ashes making you choke on the message God has given you.
Ohh, thank you Michele. Glad you heard the interview. (I'm too chicken to listen!) But the wonderful thing about forgiveness is how it spreads, how it infects us with the desire to keep forgiving . … (Thank you for reading---and listening!!)
DeleteOh how I love this reminder. The power, the dunamis power of God. Resurrection power available to me. Waynette
ReplyDeleteWaynette---me too!! I spoke the entire passage of Ephesians 1 in a dramatic reading on SUnday in church and was soooo moved by these words in particular. So happy to share what we've all been given in Christ!!
DeleteI love this...flesh off the wedding weekend .... Covenant love is only held by this kind of power... I just finished listening to you on FLT... What a treat to hear your voice... I look forward to hearing the rest tomorrow... Happy happy anniversary... Celebrate!! These kind of years together are seemly rare these days!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a weekend you must have had!! I hope you're resting, recovering now . . . Yes, covenantal love. Man, we blow it in so many ways, but this power, this incredible power is available to us! (To us!!) (I forget, you know?? But how else do we make it through so many hard times??) Enjoy your rest--and GOd's power in you!!
DeleteFirstly: look at your cute PIN! (I always love your pictures, but the pin caught my eye today). Secondly, I LOVE the hope in this. What you say about wind whipping up old ash which still stings and obscures is so true. I'm breathing too much ash at the moment. And Thirdly: the picture of you whisked up in your hubby's arms is darling. Happy anniversary to you both. I hope my husband and I have as much joy and grace with each other in 27 years!
ReplyDeleteBronwyn, I know . . . ash . … it has come again today for me as well. I return to these words--not mine, but the Scriptures, again and again, to remember who I am. Only 27 years to go!! You and your hubby will make it---I know you will! If we can--by God's great grace, truly, anybody can!!
DeleteI am writing this through tears of relief, relief in the reminder that it isn't all on me. Oh, how I need this good news every day. My heavy fog is pregnancy hormones that keep me wakeful in the night and a 2-year-old who wants Mommy to jump into the morning with as much enthusiasm as her. Ahh. This resurrection power that doesn't pour contempt on my struggle, my nausea, or my many weaknesses, but extends a patient hand and "gently leads those who have young." I am so thankful for your reminder. This is a writing morning for me, and the Spirit has used your words to help me hoist my sails and then fill them. Thanks be to God. And you.
ReplyDeleteAmy! Ohhhh, I know this is such a hard place!! To have your body so besieged---by another person curled up i their with his/her demands---and then the other person outside, making further demands, needing ALL of you!! BUt no, not ever contempt. I am convinced that women know JEsus closer and nearer because of pregnancy---and that Jesus knows and understands this part of our humanness intimately. Go---and write as you can!! But also know that you are birthing an incredible story already just by resting, by being still. Either way, God is delighted in you!
DeleteThank you for your encouragement. And it still makes me smile to think of your salmon and peach jam dinner. Praying for Focus to call...
DeleteThank you. There is ash being stirred in my life through a physical problem that hasn't reared it's ugly head in years. This is a reminder where my hope and power lies.
ReplyDeleteBarb--sorry to hear this!! Oh these bodies--that slow us---and yet that show us Christ even more. I used to believe they were just "containers" for the Holy Spirit, but now I believe God somehow indwells every cell, and that our bodies are themselves wired to KNOW God. Asking God for strength for you today!
DeleteCongratulations on the anniversary, Leslie. I'm so sorry for the disturbing mess and the way it blocks out the beautiful, but relieved that things are clearer now. May the next 30 years for you and your husband also be clear, clear, clear.
ReplyDelete