In the wake of yesterday’s blasts, we’ve all heard lots of words: words of shock, words of hope,
words looking for the good within evil,
and too many words of accusation and conspiracy.
Some people find dark, pathetic comfort in believing Americans and the government are blowing up their own people. These people believe in the power of words. They believe that truth will set us free. They believe their truths are the real truths, and they will be heroes in the end for exposing the vast network of darkness and deception within our own government that threatens our country’s very freedom and existence.
But those words hurt and harm the already wounded.
Some of those beliefs about word and truth sound so
familiar. Are we like this too, we people-of-faith, sometimes?
A little while ago, while out of town, I ran
into a friend I hadn’t seen for many months. I stood in the grocery line slumping, face to the
floor. My makeup was slapdash, my hair unwashed. I was so weary with mothering
that week, that day. The routine of piano lessons, homework, science fairs,
lunches, enforcing chores, juggling crises, adolescent meltdowns, successes,
losses and phone calls at 2 a.m. can wear a woman down after 24 years.
And I have 8 more years of intensive in-house mothering ahead.
Standing there, the friend sees me and exclaims. I perk up. We
catch up on life details. One of her kids went to
school with one of mine. We fill in their lives for one another. Then, I share
my overwhelmed heart. I bleed a little. And here it comes: a sermon. With some
scripture thrown in for extra clout. I have to do better. I am not spiritual enough. It’s all meant for my good. We end,
laughing, but the small cut I was nursing on my chest is gushing as she leaves.
She leaves glowing, certain she has spoken a word of truth to a sister.
The scriptures are compared to a sword. They cut all right. Why
do we wield them so carelessly? Her motives were good. She meant to encourage.
We’re the exact same age, but her family is much smaller than mine. Hers have
been out of the house for years already. Her life is quite free. The
sword in her hand became a dagger.
I’m sure I’ve done worse. But I have a simple plea: Let’s
stop doing this to one another. When someone asks for bread, give them bread,
maybe even with butter and a hug. When
someone is tired, give a hand, not a sermon. Don’t use scripture as a bat when we
need it for a crutch. Give me a fish not a stone.
I don’t care how wise we think we are, or what special word
of God or word of faith has been given to us. We must show our wisdom this way:
by listening, by really hearing the words and the pain of the other person.
Enter into it with them. Cry with them. Love them. Be with them. Weep with the crying, laugh with the happy.
To the proud and self-righteous, Christ called them names
and pronounced sermons and woes. To the sick, weak, needy, Christ touched with his hands, rubbed
mud on their eyes, grasped their wrists and pulled them to their feet, shared
dinner with them, spoke blessing and healing.
What is wrong with us?
Aren't we schooled enough in the Scriptures to know the difference?
(Dear God, Forgive me for the times I have handed out stones instead of fish. Even here.)
Good words to think about. I heard today on CBC radio a guest who negotiates hostages say, "Listening always brings success, not talking". True for hostage situations .... true for life? Thank you for your honest words today.
ReplyDeleteJessica---wow, what helpful words, especially coming from a hostage negotiator. Thank you, Heather. I'll remember this better myself for these words. Blessings, Leslie
DeleteTHANK YOU for writing truth and comfort! I pray for wisdom to hear hearts, not just words--to see beyond skin to the ache within. Oh for the balm of Jesus to soothe the weary and strengthen the weak!
ReplyDeleteThanks Heather. Yes, we need to try and see beyond the surface----and, to empty ourselves of our need or desire to impress others with our "knowledge." Thanks for being here with us! Leslie
DeleteThank you for the great reminder--I know too often I've been that friend of yours--thinking I was doing good by talking to much when someone just needed a hug and a listening ear. I"m thankful for how God has worked in my life to show me the times I just need to Shut Up and listen, hug, and be there for someone. I believe if we are open God will show us when a word needs to be spoken but I believe it is often just being there for someone where we and others are truly healed. I love your blog! :-)
ReplyDeleteSo glad, Alethia . .. I think the temptation sometimes is to show how much we know, to trot out our theology---but people are seldom needing that. Sometimes they do. I HAVE had people really want a theological answer---that's great. But if we wait for them to ask, then yes, speak. Maybe. Grateful you're here, Alethia! Leslie
DeleteI love your last sentence. How many times have I handed over a rock, when I should have offered a fish?
ReplyDeleteThanks April. I am thinking more carefully about my responses as well ... Would love to trot out my "theology" so many times---indeed, I probably have too many times. But convicted all over again . .. Good listening to you today!! Leslie
DeleteA friend can give you sunflowers in winter's dark
ReplyDeleteA friend can give you sunflowers in a stubborn spring
A friend can give you sunflowers whatever the seasons bring
A friend keeps a greenhouse in her heart
-kl
A friend of mine wrote on his blog: "People don't want knowledgeable and insightful friends so much as they want friends who will live with them where they are." I am trying to remember that, and to listen to my friends and enter in, instead of formulating in my mind what my response to them will be, even before they stop talking. :-/ Thanks for the good words, Leslie!
ReplyDeleteHi Kerri---so true. The wisdom we often want is the wisdom of a body next to us. And sometimes it is easier---especially now that we spend so much of our days on the keyboard---to send words instead of ourselves. Both are good. One is better. thank you Kerri!
ReplyDelete